Kent get enough of you, baby

I'm afraid Mr. Thornton might have outblogged me before I've even begun to recap the insanity that was Friday night. However, I shall do my best to summarize my Kent comeback to the best of my wit's ability.

Upon arrival in the Tree City, I called up Jackie and surprised her with my early presence. She wasstill clad in her football gear from the Media Bowl and gave me a great big bear hug. It's always good to see your Facebook wife after two months of no contact. She and Carrie hopped in my car and I did something I haven't done since February: I knowingly furnished minors! Knowing full well, of course, that even if the cops did show up this time, however, I could get away Scott-free because I don't live on Sunnybrook Road no more. Let the head smashing begin, I say.

Next was a big reunion dinner at Taco Tanto's, which kicked off with Kelly jumping into my arms unexpectedly and the two of us tumbling onto the floor within eyeshot of Lindsay, Ryan and Jeff. My knee's better, by the way, Kelly!

Erin Roof was randomly there. We swapped big-city stories and I parted ways by offering up my sympathy for one last semester with the Robot.

Dinner in general was a very happy time. I had greatly missed everyone at that table ....even if I had just seen two of them just weeks prior in my new city .. and being back together at Taco Tanto's was a pleasant blast from the past. The pizzaritos are also just as amazing as I had remembered them, if not more so.

I also noticed that TIlly & The Wall were playing at the Grog Shop that night, EXACTLY like my last visit to Kent in June. For a few seconds I pondered driving to Cleveland to check it out, but those were the briefest seconds in the history of time.

Visited with Barb for a good hour or so, and shamelessly whipped out my Ad Age cover story. Apparently Fran Collins (!) brought it to her attention before I could even tell her I made the cover. Aww Fran, I knew I liked her...Barb and I dished New York, Ohio politics and graduation strategies (I have an even better one now!) over blueberry beer. Mmmm...

By the time I get to the old apartment the driveway is already full by 10 (a common occurence). So I set out on the familiarly terrifying trip that is the pitch-black walk from the neighbors with the shooting range back to the apartment. There was a fucking cat meowing the whole time that made me want to clobber the next moving thing with my 12 pack of Bud out of extreme fear, but luckily I never had a reason to.

I opened the door to the sounds of Le Tigre or The Rapture or something indie and pretentious and it was like being home again. A total time capsule trip. There was Ben and co. kicking things off with a game of Kings, Ryan and Lindsay cuddling on the couch, Gavin and Jackie beginning a night of on-and-off making out, with a few new twists added to the proceedings.

It was both sad and exciting to hear that the soiree was the first real dance party since my departure. Don't get me wrong, I was proud to usher in the return of the Sunnybrook Road dance-offs. But am I really that lively that parties just die in my absence? Ah, I am sunlight and the rest of you Stater partiers are just wilting perennials...

I made my first moves to the tune of "SexyBack," fittingly, with Carrie and Jackie as my dance partners. More dancing ensued, but just enough to entice other people to keep it going while I made the rounds of hugs and reunions. I was most excited to see Rachel, Meranda, Sean, Kali, Lindsay and Jeff again, with plenty of other little surprises thrown in. I even manged to entice Jessica Smiley, Katie Alberti, proofreader Amy and Brian Thornton to attend their very first Stater party!

There was a bit of apple bobbing, but the combination of the wetness and Gavin removing half the apples with his mouth kind of killed that. There's no topping last year's bob-a-thon anyway.

It was around this time that I realized the gay quotient at this party was the highest it's ever been. Perhaps the highest of all parties combined, in fact. Very, very impressive. I know I won't be back any time soon, but keep up the good work, ladies and gents!

By midnight I realized I was not drunk at all after three sporadilcally consumed beers and decided to make up for lost time. Worst decision EVER. Were New York not so expensive that I could actually afford to drink this fall, I would have remebered the cardinal rule in college binge drinking: "Beer before liquor, you couldn't be sicker." Truer words have never been slurred.

Oh I got drunk all right, but I paid for it big time. Almost instantly. No sooner had I downed a few rum and ciders did I feel a little funny and went running to the bushes outside (a Sunnybrook first for me, if you can believe it.) I can't even tell you how many times I had to do this because after the first one is when I don't remember anything. Apparently I said my good-byes to Lindsay covered in vomit and dirt with twigs in my hair. Classy. Where the fuck was a camera when this happened?!

I ended the night in Ben's pajamas (strangely, I do remember taking my clothes off in front of Ben and Kelly...weird) and without any blankets. But unconscious people don't get cold, so when I came to at 8:30 I just stole Kali's.

11:00 slowly rolled around, and Jackie and Ben emerged from their drunken hazes and we all slogged over to Wild Goat for a commemorative brunch and some much-needed nourishment. I couldn't even drive yet I was still fucked up. It took me the rest of the day to relieve my hangover. My dad even made Long Islands later that night and the mere mention of alcohol turned my insides a lil' bit.

All in all, my Kent return was a huge success. I saw everyone I could have possibly wanted to see (and nobody I didn't, best of all!), had the sloppiest attempt at a bathroom hookup ever and ended up making a drunken fool of myself.

It wouldn't be a Sunnybrook Road party if any of things hadn't happened.