I got to admit it's gettin' better, gettin' better all the time...

There have been many days these past two months (most, in fact) where I have to literally stop and wonder if my life is real. Today was definitely one of them.

In perhaps one of the most successful weeks in the history of employment, I received two job offers in two days. One was from Kidding Around, the toy store I interviewed at last month but didn't get because I wasn't available enough. The other...well, I'll hold off on posting here until the details have all been ironed out, but once they are it'll be HUGE and my excitement will no longer be contained (it barely is now haha.)

So today was my first day at the toy store and it was quite the surreal one. First of all, any chances of it being similar to my summer at Mr. Fun's last year were immediately vanquished when I showed up to work and FIVE other people were there. To work at a store roughly the same size as Mr. Fun's, mind you. But then again, Mr. Fun's was in a plaza between a Fashion Bug and a Rite Aid in Kent, and Kidding Around is in a nice part of Chelsea frequented by rich people, rich children and celebrities. Lots of them, judging by stories my co-workers were telling me today.

"Yeah, Harrison Ford comes in a lot, Calista Flockhart will sometimes come too," my boss' son said. "Molly Shannon always brings her daughter when she comes, Brooke Sheilds was just in the other day and said she liked my window decoration. Susan Sarandon actually used to be a regular and her daugher even worked here for a little bit."

"Really?" I said, my long-dormat starfucker hormones suddenly stimulated. "Before she became an actress?"

"Yeah, it was for like a year or so. She and my sister are actually pretty good friends."

I was impressed by all these tales, but I hardly expected to have one of my own to tell that day. Until...

It's 2:30, I'm reorganizing the princess hats or the magic wands or something in the costume section when all of a sudden I hear a woman's voice call, "Levon! Come look at this!"

I think, "Levon?! There must be a celebrity in our midst because who names their k--"

And that's when I saw her, looking impeccable in a white pea coat, the very epitome of what you always think a gorgeous actress would look like on her day off.

There, walking toward me, was Uma Thurman.

As Jason said, it was like a really rare wildlife sighting. Like seeing a gazelle/leopard cross-breed and not knowing whether or not to grab for the nearest camera or just stare in awe for a few moments.

I chose the latter, but from a distance. As soon as I saw her, a sudden shock went through me of both recognition and embarrassment (only for not being equally fabulous..despite wearing a nice sweater and my new ass-tastic jeans, I could not hold a candle to La Thurman) and retreated nearby to the trains. As for Uma, she made no effort to remain incognito (aside from a rather dorky ski lodge hat she later donned halfway through her half-hour stay), and conversed playfully and quite loudly with her adorable blonde son, who she called "Levi."

I kept myself occupied for the most part, but I picked up on bits of pieces of her numerous cell phone convesations (including a very touching one with her daugher Mya) and realized how utterly surreal it is to see a celebrity just being a normal mom. Especially one who killed tons of bitches in two Quentin Tarantino movies just a few years back. (She was also in "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" this summer, which a cursory glance at my ticket stubs reminded me today. What a waste of celluloid that was.)

After a good 25 minutes of successfully staying out of Lady Uma's way, I finally had a reason to intrude. There were some stray toys on the ground near where she was perusing games and I went to reorganize them.

This is where the wildlife comparison comes back into play, because it was like disturbing the (very glamorous) lioness and her cub. Seeing me kneel down, Uma walks over, waves her hand apologetically and says sweetly, "Oh, sorry, I'll take care of those. I don't wanna make you do that."

"OK, no worries," I said with a sheepish smile as my internal voice shouts "YOU JUST EXCHANGED WORDS WITH BEATRIX KIDDO!!!")

And that was that. No autograph hounding, no shameless kudos for one of her many fabulous performances (even though I really wanted to tell her how much I loved "Prime"), not even a ham-fisted attempt to suck up to her kid and ask him what toys he was looking for. I just walked away and let that be that.

It took me a hot minute to calm down after my moment of recognition from who is without question the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in person. I would have just sat and basked in my day of incredulity, but alas, I had another pretty lady to go see. Specifically, Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Scarlett Johansson (a prediction I made back in JULY, thank you!) in The Prestige. First The Illusionist, now this -- why haven't there been more magician-related thrillers up till now?!? Both of which happen to be excellent, The Prestige in particular. And a bit spooky — I was a lil' nervous Christian Bale was going to send his creepy doppelganger after me to spy on my journalism tricks or something.

Speaking of which, it's going to take magic for me to get through the next two months (and probably longer) of working EVERY SINGLE DAY of the week now, with Kidding Around on weekends. The way I look at it is this: both jobs don't (have to) last past 7, which is more than ample nightlife time, and therefore more time spent making money to blow on said nights.

It's a win-win, if you ask me. Even Uma would agree.