Roller skating with the stars

Well, I can scratch "celebrity party" off my list of things done during my first week in New York.

And I'll keep the words "celebrity" and "party" in quotes because both aspects were rather questionable for the Roxy release of Jessica Simpson's Public Affair.

First of all, Jessica is one failed movie and ignored album away from being right back on the C-list. That said, she was still the biggest star by far who showed up at her own party. And even she only stayed for two hours.

I arrived around 7:15, after grabbing some dinner at a nearby Chelsea diner where no less than three other journalists swung by to grab something before the relentless circus that is a red carpet photo shoot — or purple in the case of this Yahoo! Music event.

In case your'e wondering how I got tickets, by the way... Well, Claire in all her fabulousness (not all of which has to do with her being British, but that plays a huge part) swung by my desk today to tell me about the shindig and, with a laugh, asked if I'd like to go. "You don't have to if you don't want to," she said in all seriousness.

Most people in my generation — including Joey, who happily came as my plus one — would say, "bitch, you crazy! It's Jessica Simpson!!!" And even I thought it was going to be pretty sweet when I saw the guest list — Ashlee, Lance Bass and Lil Jon were all "expected," while Fergie, Diddy and "all Epic talent" were under "unconfirmed."

If this were the album release for, say, Justin Timberlake (who incidentally was also on the list) those people might actually have showed up. But since it's Jessica Simpson, whose last album no one bought until she ruined "Take My Breath Away" and ripped Robbie Williams' "Angels" to shreds, you get slim pickin's.

Try Oksana Baiul, Gavin DeGraw, Paige Davis, Richie Rich and a handful of socialites/MTV stars/faceless rich people who even the photographers had to ask for their names.

I got the feeling that this might be the typical celebrity event — the guest list is always 10 times as fabulous as the attendance, the freebies are fantastic (free skates, candy, hot dogs AND all-you-can-drink booze) and the gossip columnists are more fascinating to watch than the guests themselves.

Seriously. I got more of a kick out of seeing MIchael Musto from The Village Voice (with those instantly recognizable glasses of his), Perez Hilton and George Whipple (he of the immaculate caterpillar eyebrows) than I did of seeing anyone other than Jessica.

OK, I will admit, I got a little tingly with surrealism when the singer of "The Sweetest Sin" (strangely my fave song of hers for whatever reason) skated past me on the rink at one point. And skating right next to Gavin DeGraw was cool in a trapped-in-an-episode-of-TRL sorta way.

But otherwise, my first celeb party in NYC was a bit of a disappointment. Luckily, Fashion Week starts in two weeks, and as the editor announced during yesterday's weekly staff meeting — "everyone will be covering that."

Yesssssss.......!!!!